Bridezilla vs. Momzilla
In Bridezilla vs. Momzilla, I wrote about what NOT to do with your future mother-in-law when it comes to dictating what she should wear to the wedding. Now let's have a look at something positive you can do to help insure a good relationship with this most important of women.
Yesterday we had a bride in our shop from Michigan. It was her 2nd trip to Phoenix to see us, the first time was a few months back to place an order for a custom wedding gown.Before coming to us she had checked lots of bridal shops all over Michigan, and on line, and no one could give her what she wanted. She came all the way to Phoenix after her future mother-in-law told her that we could do it.
Right off the bat, the bride scored big points with her future mother-in-law just by taking her advice. So many brides would have simply dismissed the idea, some even in a belittling fashion. This bride was smarter than that, and by listening to her future mother-in-law, she not only improved a sometimes difficult relationship, but she ended up getting what she wanted, too.
Because so many other bridal shops had told the bride that what she wanted couldn't be done, she was very nervous about trying on her gown, and wouldn't even look at it until her friend arrived. Those other shops must have really done a number on her, which is surprising because she brought a picture of the gown she wanted us to make. If the gown had already been made and a picture taken of it, we can't understand why so many other shops couldn't do it.
So last night the bride came in with her fiance. He stayed in our tailoring side working on his computer, on a love seat we moved around so he'd have access to a power outlet. The bride waited for her friend in our bridal side, and when she arrived a few minutes later the bride looked at her gown for the first time.
She loved it, she said, it was exactly what she wanted, and she was smiling from ear to ear.
It may seem a mite extravagant for someone who lives in Michigan to go all the way to Phoenix for a custom order, but not really. Years ago Burger King used a slogan, Have it your way. If that's good enough for a burger, should go double or triple for a custom wedding gown, a custom men's suit, a custom mother of the bride or groom outfit, don't you think?
The future mother-in-law called us today to tell us that her future daughter-in-law wasn't just happy with her gown, she was thrilled with it. And by extension, the future mother-in-law is thrilled with us.
Even though she knew we would do good work, she wasn't sure that her future daughter-in-law would appreciate or recognize it. Now the future mother-in-law feels great after being able to help out with such an important recommendation, and have that recommendation come through for her.
If you're soon to be a daughter-in-law or a mother-in-law, you're going to run into situations where you have a chance to be either a meddler or the giver of good advice. The important thing to remember is that it's the receiver of that advice who makes the call as to whether it's appreciated or not.
There's a lot of give and take that needs to go on before you can reach a good balance, and the best way to begin the process is for the receiver of the advice to seriously consider it and not reject it out of hand. That's what our bride from Michigan did, and she ended up with the wedding gown she always wanted, even though so many other shops had told her it couldn't be done.
And now, rather than a Momzilla, she's got a new mom in her life. Think that's going to make her new husband happy?
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